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Trapped in a falling storm of nothingness. I can't seem to find my way up and out. No one is looking for me, no one is seeing me. I am alone. I am forgotten. Gasping for air, my eyes open up and I realize it was just the same dream. The same dream that I have been having for months now. It interrupts my sleep, consumes my life, has ruined everything I have built up around me. Rolling over I hear a little “Quack” as I disturb my little kitty Tuna Noodle from a deep slumber. “Sorry pretty girl,” I whisper and pat her head as I look at the clock. 3:00AM, always 3:00AM. Makes me wonder if I should even try to sleep anymore. Rolling back over I sigh, shut my eyes, and try half heartadly to fall asleep again. I know it will come, I just don't know when. The next thing I know my alarm wakes me. 8:00AM. Time for up and at'em. I've been sick to many times at work, that I know I have to drag my sorry ass in. It's a good thing I really love my job, or it would be so much harder not to keep falling away from normalcy. Stepping into the cold shower, I hope that it wakes me out of the groggy fog I have been living in for the past 6 months. Since my husband had left me for another woman, I have been fighting with myself. Trying and not finding any soliace in myself. My friends are trying to help, but they are slowly drifting away. The Prozac doesn't help anymore, the dreams don't make it better. I wash the dirt from my face and clean my hair. I feel like I am constantly standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to leap. I don't know why I can't just take that final step. Work went by as any day ever does. Slowly, but when the end came, it seemed like the day flew by. My good friend Hunter was meeting me, or rather, dragging me out for drinks and dancing tonight. I had to admit, as shitty as I felt, it did sound pretty good to get out and away. I hadn't seen Minneapolis for a long time, and I am sad to admit that I missed it. She showed up at my door promptly at 8:00PM that night, as per her normal self. Looking goergous with her blue eyes and bright red hair. I felt like a grease ball standing next to her. “Oh goodness Violet, you look beautiful.” I rolled my eyes. “Shut up you do.” I stopped to look at my reflection. I always did think I looked okay with my pale skin, long black hair and big blue eyes, but today, I just didn't see it. She dragged me out to a new local “Goth” club called, so uniquely, Blood. It was trying to take over the local hot spot that had been around for year Ground Zero. As far as I half noticed, it was very successful. The mid-October day was sweet and singing to my soul. No matter how much I hated to admit it, fall spoke to me. Always. Stirred something deep inside my soul. Something dark that I never have let anyone touch. That darkness gripped me in the throat as soon as I walked into Blood. It wasn't cheesy, as I had expected. Seductivly furnished with black velvet couches and dark cherry wood tables. The paintings were tasteful. Nothing came across as campy in this place, it almost seemed so high class that I felt a little out of place. I scanned the place as we took a spot at the bar, farthest from the entrance to people watch. This had always been something I could never stop doing. Ordering my usual Gin and Tonic I slammed it down. Fast. Nerves were getting to me. I ordered one more, determined to enjoy this one and not forget that I was out to have a good time, not black out. We passed the time, telling stories, enjoying the slow seductive music piping in through the speakers, watching the people trickle in and out. At exactly 11:00PM that all changed. The room darkened. The music picked up to the every present cheesy EBM that I so had learned to hate. At this time he decided to walk in. Being baraged at all corners I couldn't stop looking. I couldn't tear my gaze away. He walked in without a look at me. His features to perfect, his skin to white, his hair long and black. I couldn't judge his eyes by the light, but I was guessing they changed with his mood. When he entered everything around me stopped. For one second, one heartbeat, I felt pure silence. Then he looked at me. I couldn't breathe. Hunter grabbed my had at that moment, brought me back to reality. Everything rushed back. I looked up again and he was gone. Disappeared from my line of sight or entirely. I didn't know. I felt utterly lost. More lost then I ever did before. I already knew I needed him. I tried to return to normal, to the conversation, but I kept slipping away, looking around. Eventually, after another drink, I had loosened up and forgotten enough of what happened that we decided to go test out our rusty dancing legs. The music pounded around us. Slowly embracing us in its warm caress. We found our flow almost instantly. Looking up at Hunter I felt exhilirated. I started to laugh out loud. We danced for what seemed like hours, but was probably only 2 or 3 songs. Sliding off the floor we took our seats and fell into gossiping again. The night raced by. The drinks flowed and soon I could tell that I had one to many. The night started to fade in and out. To soon it was 2AM and we were being ushered out to leave. As we waited on the sidewalk for a cab I felt a slow shiver down my spine. I turned to look around me and nothing was there, but as soon as I turned around our cab was there, waiting to bring us wherever we desired. We had decided to stop at Uptown Cafe and get some greasy food to try and prevent the morning hangover. Sitting in the cozy cafe it was bustling with all the other club and bar goers. I ordered an omelet, sour cream on the side and orange juice. I knew I would need the orange juice when I woke up, or at least, that is always what I crave the night after drinking.

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