say things like, “God must love you very much to give
you so much to handle,” or “Some day you will be a
[From Alive Now, March/April 2011]
stronger person because of this,” or “At least youhave other children,” or “You should be proud thatyour son gave his life for freedom,” or “At least you
Being Human
survived.” We say these things to others when they
Western culture tends to resist emotional pain
are inconsolable. It is not that we don’t care. But we
and unhappiness. Our world, full of smiling
come face to face with suffering we cannot ease and
faces in television ads, celebrates wealth and
pain for which, try as we might, we cannot find
recreation as “the good life.” In many ways, it is a
meaning. We need meaning for suffering as much as
world of Prozac and quick fixes. There is nothing
wrong with smiling or recreation or Prozac;happiness, vacations, and solutions are wonderful
Decades after my abuse, my first sense of God’s
gifts when we get them. But we are also human, and
presence came as I allowed the words of Isaiah 53 to
to be human means living a life of ups and downs,
sink into my damaged body. It is in the image of the
experiencing the full range of emotions from great
suffering servant — in Christ on the cross — that I
joy to great sorrow. To resist sorrow, pain, anxiety,
see God being violated, bloodied, battered and
and confusion is tantamount to refusing to be
molested. Christ suffers with every child who suffers,
human, and we lose much rich experience and
cries out with every mother whose child is sacrificed
closeness to God when we refuse to be our full
for someone else’s need for power. On the cross —
where God is inconsolably crying with me — is where
I find the beginning of healing. Not in the knowledgethat God is collecting my tears, but knowing that God
The Beginning of Healing
is crying my tears. A God who suffers with me, who
“He was despised and rejected by others; a man of
is inconsolable with me, is a God I can trust again,
suffering and acquainted with infirmity.”— Isaiah 53:3
not to protect me from harm but rather to be withme in all that happens.
Someone once said, “Tears are the language of the
soul.” But tears are a language that most of us do
not want to hear, let alone to speak. I was the victim
Bread of Life,
of sexual violence as a child. And, while tears may be
we are grateful that your table, like your grace,
the language of the soul, I spent a great deal of
energy trying to avoid tears because I could not
imagine how, once the tears started, they would
the buildings in which we worshipor the theology we profess.
We are promised that when our tears are turned
toward God, they are not wasted nor shed in vain.
Psalm 56:8 even says that God keeps them in a
by the love we graciously give to others.
bottle and writes each one in a book. If that’s the
case, then God has lots of bottles and books with my
name on them; and more bottles and books for all
the children on this earth whose bodies also have
is not being wealthiest, smartest,or having the largest church.
Personally, I do not find it comforting to think that
God keeps my tears in a bottle. In fact, I am appalled
that anyone might think I am comforted or consoled
because “God treasures my tears.” That is the kind of
Eager to be fed and forgiven we pray. Amen.
thing people say to someone who is crying. People
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